Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
