So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
