Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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