and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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