69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
