Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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