Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
