He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
