bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she told me i tasted like america
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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