Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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