Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
