need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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