she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
