So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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