can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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