yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
