Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
