can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
