After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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