Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
