I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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