I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize