a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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