I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
