i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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