Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
