I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
