It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
