go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
