I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
