god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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