I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
