If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
