did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
