Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
