idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
