Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
