I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
