I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
