I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
