I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
