He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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