i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize