I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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