Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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