At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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