I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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