She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
