goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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