look no pants
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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