i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
