I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
