i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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