I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
