I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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