and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
