I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize