these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
