My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
