Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
