batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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