i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
