Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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